Accepting a loved one's condition isn't giving up

In an article for AARP, Barry Jacobs recounts the story of Sam, a man whose wife, Barbara, had dementia. No matter how much her thinking skills deteriorated, he steadfastly believed that the essence of who she was remained basically the same.

“It was as if Sam felt that being loyal to Barbara meant largely ignoring her disease and trying to live as fully as they always had. To his way of thinking, dwelling on dementia's dire consequences and admitting her limitations would be giving in to it — something no strong, caring husband like him would ever do.”

Unfortunately, this meant that Sam wouldn’t accept support services, ask for help from his adult children, or consider attending education or support groups.

Jacobs goes on to build the case that accepting a loved one’s condition isn’t disloyal. He offers pointers on how family caregivers can adopt a mindset that helps them better cope with whatever unfolds while savoring the time they have with the person they’re caring for.